Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Childhood Dreams

When I was young, I wanted to be a model. I was told I had the looks for it, so my mom put me through modeling school, where I learned how to put on make-up, walk correctly, eat correctly, everything you could imagine I'd need to know. And I discovered something. I may have had the looks, but I certainly didn't have the drive to model. I hated the cattle calls, hated having to check in with my agency before I got a haircut, all the hassles of 'making it' in the industry.

Then I decided 'why not writing'? Why not, indeed? I was good at it. I'd been writing ever since I knew what a pencil was for... and it sounded easy. Just.. write, right? Wrong. I wrote short stories, I wrote poetry, I joined writer's groups and went to workshops, and did everything a budding writer is supposed to do, but ultimately I didn't have the one thing I needed to follow my dream.

Self esteem.

All the talent in the world didn't do me a bit of good. I didn't believe in myself, so how on earth could I reasonably expect anyone else to? It took me years upon years before I finally figured out I could do it.

So here I am, twenty-five years later, following my dreams.

Why?

Because I have the talent, I have the support and I'm worth it. And now there's something else. I have children, and I want my children to know that dreams don't have to die when childhood ends, and not every dream has to end in dollar signs. Sometimes, just doing it is enough.

6 comments:

  1. Well said. I think believing in ourselves is definitely the first step. The rest will follow. And to have our children see that example is priceless.

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  2. Thanks, Kasie. It was rough, but having writing buddies really has helped the whole process :)

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  3. You're so gorgeous! I see the modelling thing! And you're so right! i've never stopped living just because I have kids.. i feel I owe it to them to continue to grow and develop my talents so they learn they can grow once they're older too! jenni

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  4. Exactly, Jenni! We are more than just mothers, but everything is a lesson to be learned or taught. And the learning can be fun, indeed :)

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  5. Awesome! This is a great post and so positive. Thanks Shanti! :)

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  6. Thanks, Jenn! I guess this blogging thing can be used for more than just random vents. LOL!

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