Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Childhood Dreams

When I was young, I wanted to be a model. I was told I had the looks for it, so my mom put me through modeling school, where I learned how to put on make-up, walk correctly, eat correctly, everything you could imagine I'd need to know. And I discovered something. I may have had the looks, but I certainly didn't have the drive to model. I hated the cattle calls, hated having to check in with my agency before I got a haircut, all the hassles of 'making it' in the industry.

Then I decided 'why not writing'? Why not, indeed? I was good at it. I'd been writing ever since I knew what a pencil was for... and it sounded easy. Just.. write, right? Wrong. I wrote short stories, I wrote poetry, I joined writer's groups and went to workshops, and did everything a budding writer is supposed to do, but ultimately I didn't have the one thing I needed to follow my dream.

Self esteem.

All the talent in the world didn't do me a bit of good. I didn't believe in myself, so how on earth could I reasonably expect anyone else to? It took me years upon years before I finally figured out I could do it.

So here I am, twenty-five years later, following my dreams.


Because I have the talent, I have the support and I'm worth it. And now there's something else. I have children, and I want my children to know that dreams don't have to die when childhood ends, and not every dream has to end in dollar signs. Sometimes, just doing it is enough.


  1. Well said. I think believing in ourselves is definitely the first step. The rest will follow. And to have our children see that example is priceless.

  2. Thanks, Kasie. It was rough, but having writing buddies really has helped the whole process :)

  3. You're so gorgeous! I see the modelling thing! And you're so right! i've never stopped living just because I have kids.. i feel I owe it to them to continue to grow and develop my talents so they learn they can grow once they're older too! jenni

  4. Exactly, Jenni! We are more than just mothers, but everything is a lesson to be learned or taught. And the learning can be fun, indeed :)

  5. Awesome! This is a great post and so positive. Thanks Shanti! :)

  6. Thanks, Jenn! I guess this blogging thing can be used for more than just random vents. LOL!